Creating happiness!
Moving on to 2021
As I sit here and look at our Christmas tree I ask myself what does this time of year bring to mind? Why do we make new years resolutions? What does it mean to us?
I think most of us like the idea of renewal. Something about the new- year allows us to let go of our past and to start anew. We forgive ourselves for last year’s mistakes and for not achieving everything we set out to do. Most importantly we give ourselves permission to start with a clean slate.
We also feel a heightened power in our ability to reach our goals. We feel a strong determination to make changes in our lives. We make lists of things we want to accomplish and feel a sense of hope that we will achieve our goals.
In many cases this renewed energy and determination winds down after a few months and we may find ourselves not feeling the same sense of hope at achieving our goals. This is the time to look inward and to consider, what has changed?
Bottom line, our thoughts have changed. We choose how to interpret life’s events. We choose how to interpret how others treat us and what they say to us, how to view a challenge in your work or personal life and how we view our past. Stephen Covey made a great statement, “It’s not what happens to us, but our response to what happens to us that hurts us.” Martin Seligman who is credited as being one of the founding fathers of positive psychology discusses the concept of “learned helplessness.” This is the thought process where individuals allow themselves to be defined by their past and do not empower themselves to reinvent themselves everyday and reach toward their goals. The past is gone all we have is today and we are free to reinvent ourselves.
When we make mistakes we can either look for the learning in the mistake or beat ourselves up and tell ourselves we will never succeed. I worked with someone who would walk into a social event with great anxiety. Once, she experienced someone looking at her funny and she thought to herself, “that woman thinks I’m really weird” and she began to withdraw inwardly. Later on after speaking to the woman she found out the woman thought she looked familiar and was trying to figure out where she met her before. How do you interpret events in your life? What kind of automatic negative thoughts pop up in your head?
Cognitive and behavioral psychologists have been studying this process for years. As you are probably aware these negative interpretations of events can be automatic. Once you focus some attention and energy on these automatic negative thoughts you will be able to speak back to these thoughts and replace them with a positive interpretation.
As a counselor and life coach I have seen clients breakthrough old views and interpretations of themselves as they moved forward to view new possibilities for their life. Put on a growth mindset and remember we have evolved as a species and we will continue to evolve. You have the ability to grow and learn and achieve your vision!
Think of everyday as New Years Eve by letting go of what doesn’t work and embracing what does and moving forward. Give yourself permission to make mistakes.
I leave you with a quote from Henry David Thoreau:
“I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor.”
I wish each of you success in your business and personal lives!
#happiness #mindfulness #coaching